No Golden Thread, No Mother's Blessing

In Willowbrook, an old tradition holds that once a daughter becomes engaged, her mother must spend the next three years in seclusion, hand-embroidering a wedding gown with fine gold thread. On her wedding day, the bride wears the magnificent gold-embroidered gown—a symbol of love, happiness, and a lifetime of blessings. My twin sister, Clara Ellwood, and I are getting married on the same day. The day we try on our wedding gowns, the golden phoenix embroidered across Clara's skirt seems almost alive in the sunlight. Mother's eyes crinkle with delight as she carefully runs her trembling fingers over Clara's sleeve. "Our precious daughter looks absolutely radiant in this gold-thread embroidery. Once she joins her husband's family, no one will ever dare look down on her." Father nods vigorously, his face brimming with pride. "Of course! No other family's daughter could hold a candle to Clara in a gown this magnificent!" Everyone gathers around Clara, showering her with praise. My gaze drifts to the tray set off to the side, where my own wedding gown lies waiting. It's a roughly stitched wedding gown with no sheen whatsoever, hastily stitched together with cheap yellow thread. "Mother, what happened to the fine gold thread on my wedding gown?" Mother's smile disappears, and she suddenly avoids my eyes. "Your sister's phoenix is a little short on gold thread at the tail. I figured your gown isn't finished yet anyway, so I took the thread from yours to finish hers." Father's expression darkens as well. "Your sister is marrying into a wealthy family. If her wedding gown isn't impressive enough, she'll suffer for it! You're only marrying a schoolteacher. Who are you trying to impress by wearing something so extravagant?" As I stare at their utterly unapologetic faces, I remember what Mother tells us when she first teaches us to embroider. "A girl's gold-embroidered wedding gown carries her birth family's lifelong love and support. Every missing strand of thread means a piece of her happiness has been lost." So that's it—the happiness they're so determined to protect has never included mine. Chapter 1 Once everyone had left after trying on the wedding gowns, Mother thrust the roughly stitched wedding gown into my arms. "Stop looking so miserable. If anyone sees you, they'll think we've mistreated you." The rough yellow threads scratched against my fingertips as I held the dress. In a quiet voice, I asked, "Mother, do you still remember the twin lotuses you sketched for me?" Three years ago, my sister chose a phoenix among peonies, while I chose a pair of twin lotuses. Mother had once said their quiet elegance suited my gentle nature best. She'd even promised to embroider the two flowers side by side to bless me with a harmonious marriage. Mother paused at the reminder of her promise, then furrowed her brows. "Your sister's bridal veil is still missing its cloud-patterned border. Don't bother me with old matters." With that, she turned and disappeared into the embroidery room. Through the half-open door, I caught sight of two twin lotuses embroidered beside the clouds on my sister's bridal veil. The design matched the one Mother had drawn for me years ago, down to the tiny golden bead at the center of each flower. She hadn't forgotten. She'd simply given my sister what was meant for me. … When I returned to my room, I found my trunks and dressing cases gone. I went to ask my older brother, Arthur Ellwood, what had happened to them, but he answered impatiently, "Clara has so many bridal gifts from the family, and we don't have enough trunks to hold them all, so we used yours." "You're marrying Julian Caldwell, a nobody. Just take a bundle of clothes to his place. His family won't mind." My twin sister, Clara Ellwood, stood nearby, holding the keys to the trunks. In a gentle voice, she said, "Evelyn, once I'm settled at Sinclair Manor, I'll have someone send them back to you." Arthur immediately cut her off. "Send gifts back after they've already been brought into the groom's home? That would only bring you bad luck!" Mother scolded me for being unreasonable. She even said that if our maternal grandmother were still alive, she'd want Clara to have a grand, respectable wedding, too. When Father saw that I remained silent, he pointed toward the storeroom. "It's not as if you have no bridal gifts from the family at all. There are still two quilts in there." I recognized those quilts immediately. One was the quilt my sister had wet when she was little. Even after being washed several times, the yellow stains remained. The other had a corner chewed through by rats. Just last year, Mother had said she would remove the cotton stuffing and use it to make shoe insoles. I then asked what had happened to the wedding gifts from the Caldwell family. Mother answered without the slightest hesitation. "The ten silver coins went toward Clara's wedding feast. The silver bracelet was added to her bridal gift chest, and the two bolts of brocade were made into new clothes for her to wear when she visits us after the wedding." I clenched the roughly stitched wedding gown in my hands. "So the wedding gifts the Caldwell family gave me have become part of the gifts you're giving my sister, too?" Clara's eyes reddened. "If you're upset about it, Evelyn, I'll return everything to you. But the Sinclair family gave us so many betrothal gifts. If I don't have anything decent to give them in return, won't everyone laugh at me?" Mother immediately stepped in to defend her. "Evelyn has always been sensible. She'd never force you to suffer over a few things like these." Everyone waited for me to say I'd let it go, just as I always had. Instead, I walked over to the camphorwood trunk and peeled off the decorative paper bearing my sister's name. Arthur grabbed my wrist, scolding me for making a scene and disturbing the whole family's peace. I endured the pain and met his gaze. "If we're all family and nothing belongs to just one person, then shouldn't half of the gifts you give Clara belong to me, too?" A deathly silence fell over the courtyard. Clara hurried to shield her gifts, while Mother shouted at me, "How can that possibly apply to you? Your sister is marrying into the Sinclair family!" I wrenched my wrist free from Arthur's grasp, returned to my room, and opened the sewing box my maternal grandmother had left me. At the bottom of the box, beneath everything else, lay a yellowed piece of paper. It read, "If your birth family won't give you the confidence to stand on your own, then you must learn to earn it for yourself." I stared at those words for a long time before finally picking up my pen and writing a letter to Julian. "You said the embroidery workshop in the county seat was hiring embroiderers. Is that offer still open?" Chapter 2 The next day, Julian arrived at my family's residence. He wore a faded blue outfit, washed so many times that its color had nearly worn away. In his hands, he carried two packages of biscuits and a small wooden box. Everyone in the front courtyard was busy taking inventory of the gifts being added to my sister's bridal gift, and no one bothered to greet him. Father was drinking tea with the Sinclair family's steward, while Mother fussed over the pearl hairpins Clara was trying on. In the end, I was the only one who went to the kitchen to fetch a wooden stool for Julian. He didn't sit down. Instead, his gaze settled on the purplish bruises around my wrist. "How did that happen?" he asked. I slipped my hand into my sleeve. "I bumped it by accident." He didn't press me for an explanation. He simply handed me a bottle of medicinal ointment. Clara walked over and glanced at the wooden box in his hands. "What's inside?" Julian opened the box, revealing a silver hairpin shaped like an orchid, its delicate petals cradling lustrous pearls at the center. "It belonged to my late mother. Before she passed away, she said it was to be kept for her future daughter-in-law." My fingers had barely brushed the box when Clara exclaimed, "It's beautiful!" At the sound of her voice, Mother came over at once. "Clara has to visit the Sinclair family's elders tomorrow, and she's missing a simple, elegant piece of jewelry. Evelyn, let her borrow it for the day." I tightened my grip on the wooden box. "This belonged to Julian's late mother. It's not something that should be lent out." Mother's smile immediately faded. "You're sisters. It's only for one day. It's not as if you'll lose the hairpin forever. Since when did you become so petty?" Clara's eyes reddened as she took Mother's hand. "Mother, please don't make things difficult for Evelyn. I'll just wear an old hairpin instead. The Sinclair family won't look down on me over something like that." Just then, Arthur walked in. When he saw what was happening, he immediately scolded me for making things difficult for my sister. Julian closed the wooden box and stepped in front of me. "Arthur, this hairpin belonged to my late mother. I'm afraid it wouldn't be appropriate to lend it to someone else." Arthur sneered. "You two aren't even married yet, Mr. Caldwell, and you're already teaching her to turn against her own family?" Julian didn't argue. He simply handed the wooden box back to me and said, "Keep what's yours safe." Those few simple words made my nose sting. So the things that belonged to me didn't always have to be given away. … That afternoon, Mother summoned Clara and me to the main hall to divide up the gifts from our family that we could take to our husbands' homes. She began by handing Clara the deed to a silk shop in the southern part of town. Father followed, presenting her with a stack of banknotes, while Arthur gave her a set of solid-gold jewelry. When the jewelry box was opened, golden light filled the room. By the time it was my turn, the table was already empty. A maidservant carried in the two old cotton quilts instead. Yellowed stuffing poked through the torn corners and spilled onto the floor, yet Mother acted as though she hadn't seen a thing. "Evelyn, your husband's house is just nearby, so you don't need that many gifts. These two quilts will be perfect to take to your husband's home." I didn't accept them. "Where's the gold bangle Grandmother left me?" I asked. Clara instinctively slipped her wrist into her sleeve, but I'd already caught a glimpse of the gold. Mother explained, "Clara's wedding gown is so extravagant that ordinary jewelry wouldn't do it justice. I had a goldsmith reshape the bangle. Let her keep it for now." I turned to Clara. "Do you think it belongs to you, too?" She hurriedly took off the gold bangle. "If you want it, Evelyn, you can have it." I had just reached for it when Mother grabbed her hand. "How can you take off a gift after you've already accepted and worn it? You'll only bring yourself bad luck for nothing!" Arthur shoved my hand away as well. "Clara merely borrowed one piece of jewelry from you, and now you want to snatch it back?" One after another, they spoke as though I were the unreasonable one, as though I weren't the one whose family heirlooms had been taken from me. I slowly lowered my hand. "If nothing in this family belongs to just one person, then shouldn't I get half of the silk shop in the southern part of town, too?" Clara immediately clutched the deed to her chest, while Mother slammed her palm against the table. "How can you compete with your own sister over something like this? She's marrying into the Sinclair family! She'll need it more than you!" I looked at their faces, all twisted with the same anger, and felt the last remnants of hope inside me slowly die. When they took what belonged to me, it was all in the name of sisterly love. But the moment I asked for a share of what they gave my sister, I was suddenly labeled greedy and insatiable. Chapter 3 Seven days before my sister's wedding, the phoenix's tail on her wedding gown came undone. The gold thread holding one of the feathers had come loose, revealing a dense cluster of tiny needle holes beneath. Mother's eyes reddened with panic. "Mrs. Sinclair Sr. is coming tomorrow to inspect the gifts we've prepared for Clara, including her wedding gown. What are we going to do?" She had spent three years embroidering that gown, and the strain had long since ruined her eyesight. The room fell silent for a moment. Then, as though on cue, everyone turned to look at me. Mother pushed the wedding gown toward me. "Evelyn, your embroidery skills are the best in the family. Stay up tonight and repair your sister's gown." I refused. Julian and I were supposed to go to the county courthouse early the next morning to register our marriage. Arthur immediately frowned. "Can't you register your marriage another day? If Mrs. Sinclair Sr. sees the damage to the wedding gown, how will our sister ever establish herself in the Sinclair family?" "Doesn't my wedding matter, then?" I shot back. Father's expression darkened. "It's only a one-day delay. Why are you making such a fuss? Why must you compete with your sister over everything?" Mother took my hand. "Evelyn, just this once. Once Clara is safely married, I'll make it up to you. I promise." I'd heard those words my entire life. When I was little, and there was only one serving of custard to go around, Mother had told me that Clara's health was frail and made me give up my share. When Clara was accepted into a girls' school, Mother sold the emerald pendant my maternal grandmother had left me, promising she'd buy it back someday. When Clara got engaged, Mother took the money I'd been saving to buy jewelry for myself, once again promising to repay me later. But that later never came. I pulled my hand away. "I'm not fixing it." Mother froze, and tears immediately welled up in Clara's eyes. "You're still angry with me for using your fine gold thread, aren't you, Evelyn? If you really don't want to help, I'll just wear the damaged gown on my wedding day. If they look down on me, so be it. I suppose that's just my fate." Arthur stepped in front of her protectively before turning to glare at me. "Mother has ruined her eyesight embroidering gowns for both of you. Now she's asking you to do one little thing to help, and you're making excuses and refusing to cooperate. Evelyn Ellwood, do you have no conscience at all?" I almost laughed out of sheer exasperation. Mother had ruined her eyesight embroidering a gown that would adorn my sister in splendor from head to toe, yet I didn't even have a decent wedding gown of my own. Even so, I was still expected to be overwhelmed with gratitude for everything she'd supposedly sacrificed. I turned to leave when a sudden cry rang out behind me. Mother had grabbed the edge of the table for support before collapsing into Clara's arms, her face pale. Father rushed forward to catch her, then immediately slapped me across the face. "Are you determined to drive your mother to her grave?" My cheek burned. Leaning against Clara's shoulder, Mother began to cry. "Enough. There's no point in forcing her. She doesn't even have room in her heart for her own mother anymore. I won't blame her." Furious, Father ordered the courtyard gates locked, while Arthur even took away the documents Julian and I needed to register our marriage. "You'll get them back when the gown is fixed," he said. The oil lamp burned throughout the night as I carefully stitched the fallen golden feather back into place, one stitch at a time. Well past midnight, the gold thread sliced through my fingertip. A bead of blood stained the silk, and I had no choice but to wipe it away and keep stitching. By dawn, the phoenix's tail was finally as good as new. Clara put on the gown and twirled twice in front of the mirror. "See, Evelyn? You really do have the best hands." No one asked if my fingers hurt. No one remembered that I'd already missed the time Julian and I were supposed to register our marriage. … By the time I finally reached the county courthouse, it was already late, but Julian was still waiting at the foot of the stone steps. The morning mist had dampened his blue robe, and tiny droplets of water clung to his hair. "I'm so sorry," i said softly. I couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes. He didn't blame me. Instead, he gently wrapped a clean handkerchief around my fingers, which were still bleeding. "Was it for your sister again?" I remained silent. After securing the handkerchief around my hand, Julian spoke softly. "Evelyn, if a place brings you nothing but pain, leaving isn't an act of disloyalty. It's a way to save yourself." … When I finally returned home, Mrs. Sinclair Sr., whom Mother had mentioned earlier, was inspecting the wedding gown. She ran her fingers over the phoenix's tail and nodded with satisfaction. "The stitching is exquisite. You've certainly gone to a lot of trouble, Mrs. Ellwood." Mother smiled and graciously accepted the praise. "Anything for Clara. It's only what a mother should do." Clara linked her arm through Mother's affectionately. "Mother embroidered this wedding gown herself, every single stitch. She never let anyone else touch it." I stood outside the doorway, looking down at my ten fingers wrapped in bandages. So, they could claim credit for my work just as easily as they'd taken everything else that belonged to me. Before Mrs. Sinclair Sr. left, she noticed the roughly stitched wedding gown in the corner. "Is this for one of the bridesmaids?" The entire room fell silent. Mother stiffened before hurriedly changing the subject to cover up the awkwardness. After the Sinclair family had left, Father hurled his teacup to the floor at my feet. "Did you leave that shabby dress lying around on purpose to humiliate our family in front of the Sinclairs?" Shards of porcelain sliced through the hem of my skirt. Mother's eyes reddened as she confronted me, too. "I already promised to make it up to you later. Why do you insist on targeting your sister?" I looked at their furious faces and suddenly realized there was no point in explaining myself anymore. When someone never loved a person, everything they said would be dismissed as an excuse. Chapter 4 Three days before my wedding, I went to the embroidery shop to pick up the bridal veil I'd commissioned. The shopkeeper searched through his account books for a long time before finally looking up at me with an apologetic expression. "Ms. Ellwood, Mrs. Ellwood collected the money you'd paid for the veil two days ago." I trembled with anger. I'd designed the embroidery pattern myself, hoping to preserve at least a little dignity on my wedding day. Now, even that small measure of dignity had been taken from me. When I returned home, the courtyard was bustling with guests who had gathered for my sister's bridal gift celebration, a family occasion where gifts were presented to the bride. Clara sat among a group of female relatives. In addition to the gold bangle our maternal grandmother had left me, she now wore a pair of solid gold armlets adorned with intertwining floral branches. My aunt took her hand and admired the jewelry. "These must have cost a fortune!" Mother beamed with pride. "They were made by the old goldsmith's shop and cost a full 96 coins. Clara is marrying into the Sinclair family. She can't afford to look shabby." 96 coins. It was exactly the amount I'd saved and deposited at the money house. I hurried back to my room and pulled out the wooden box hidden beneath my bed. The banknotes were gone. Even the deposit certificate was gone. Clutching the empty box, I returned to the courtyard. Gradually, the laughter and chatter died down as everyone noticed me. "Mother, where's my money?" Mother frowned. "Today is your sister's bridal gift celebration. Do you really have to make a scene in front of all our relatives and friends?" "Did you withdraw the silver I'd deposited at the money house?" Clara instinctively pulled her sleeves over the gold armlets. Realizing she could no longer hide the truth, Mother admitted it outright. "Clara needed a piece of gold jewelry that would make an impression. I figured that since you're getting married soon, and Julian will have a salary of his own, you could save up some money and replace it later." "That money was my bridal gift for myself! I'd spent five whole years saving it by copying books and embroidering handkerchiefs for others, all so I'd have something of my own to bring to my husband's home!" Father reprimanded me sternly, "Why must family members keep such strict accounts over money? We've fed you and put a roof over your head for 20 years. Are we supposed to ask your permission before using a little of your money?" "Then why didn't you use Clara's money?" I shot back. Arthur's expression immediately turned cold. "Clara is marrying into the Sinclair family. There are countless things she'll need to pay for and arrange. You're marrying a schoolteacher and will lead a modest life. How can the two of you possibly be compared?" There it was again—the same old excuse. Because my sister was marrying well, she deserved to have everything. Because I was marrying an ordinary man, my family could take my wedding gown, bridal gifts, and savings whenever they pleased. Clara's eyes reddened as she removed the gold armlets. "If you care so much about them, then you can have them back. I can still get married without all this jewelry." She claimed she was willing to return them, yet made no move to hand them over. Mother had already wrapped her arms around Clara protectively, unable to bear the thought of her giving them up. "How can we take back jewelry that's already been given to her as part of her bridal gifts? That would bring nothing but bad luck!" I spoke slowly, enunciating every word. "Return everything that belongs to me—my fine gold thread, Grandmother's gold bangle, the Caldwell family's wedding gifts, and my 96 coins." Mother's expression changed drastically. "Are you really going to tear this family apart over a few material possessions?" "Those things belong to me," I retorted. Father let out a cold laugh. "This family raised you and put a roof over your head. We even gave you your life. What do you own that truly belongs to you?" The courtyard fell completely silent. I looked at Mother, hoping she'd at least stand up for me and say something fair. Instead, she held Clara tighter and looked at me with disappointment. "Evelyn, you've always been the sensible one since childhood. Why have you become so difficult just when you're about to get married?" Arthur impatiently tapped the table. "Clara will only get married once in her life. Is it really going to kill you to go without a few things?" One thing after another had been taken from me. First, it was the food and clothing I should have been given as a child. Then it was the heirlooms my maternal grandmother had left me. Now, even my wedding gown and the savings I'd spent five years building up were gone. They always seemed to believe that as long as they kept me alive, I had no right to complain about how they treated me. When Mother saw that I wasn't responding, she assumed I'd finally backed down, and her tone softened. "Once your sister's wedding is over, I'll sew a few flowers onto your roughly stitched wedding gown. Let's put an end to this matter for today." I lowered my gaze. "Fine. Let's put an end to it." … That night, I picked up the bundle I'd packed long ago and left for an inn in town. Father was busy entertaining the wedding guests, Mother was occupied with my sister's wedding gown, and Arthur was directing people as they delivered the bridal gifts to Sinclair Manor. Everyone had their own tasks, and none of them noticed my departure. It was as though I'd never existed in the Ellwood family at all. … On the morning of my wedding, I heard wedding music drifting up from downstairs before dawn. Julian sat astride a horse at the head of the wedding procession, dressed in a brand-new wedding robe. When he saw me, he reached out his hand. His fingers were long, his palm warm, and his hand remained steady as he held it out to me. "Evelyn, I'm here to take you home." I placed my hand in his palm. From this day forward, I would have nothing more to do with the Ellwood family.