The Denial Strategy

As a man, if I had one fatal flaw, it would be that I cared a lot about my pride. When I fell off my bike as a kid, I'd get right back up on my feet immediately, wincing through the pain while acting completely fine, terrified that someone might laugh at me. Whenever my mom hired a cleaner to clean the house, I'd spend two hours beforehand sweating bullets scrubbing the place down myself, terrified the maid would see a messy house and laugh at me. Once I started school, it got even worse. If someone else took one advanced tutoring class, I'd sign up for eight. During the day, I'd brag that I never opened a textbook, but at night, I'd secretly grind until dawn—and I was top in my grade every single time. There was no helping it; I was just terrified of getting bad grades and being laughed at. When high school graduation rolled around, I saw all my friends start dating. So, I bit the bullet, asked out the prettiest, smartest girl in our class, and managed to win her over. After all, if my partner turned out to be ugly or dumb, people would laugh at me. Later on, we both got accepted into the same university. However, not long after the semester started, she began getting closer and closer to the popular guy in our school. Whenever people teased them about being a couple, she would neither confirm nor deny it. She would merely smile. "Stop teasing us, guys. Jonas hasn't said anything about it yet." That very night, I broke up with her. Chapter 1 Sydney Davies fell silent for a long time before agreeing with a cold expression. The more I thought about it later on, the more it didn't seem right, and I tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep. The next day, disguised from head to toe with a hat, mask, and sunglasses, I secretly cornered her. She crossed her arms with a haughty expression on her face and said, "You want to get back together with me, huh? Well, unless you apologize and promise that from now on–" I looked around before lowering my voice. "No. I'm here to beg you never to tell anyone that we used to date. I'm terrified I'd be laughed at for having terrible taste." ... "You're terrified you'd be laughed at?" Sydney repeated the words in disbelief. "Tyler, would people laugh at you for dating me?" I couldn't blame her for being surprised. Sydney had good looks, great grades, and came from a wealthy family. Ever since high school, plenty of guys had a crush on her. When I was pursuing her back then, I had put in a lot of effort. I bought her snacks, wrote her love letters, and made a huge collection of handcrafted gifts. Even just two days ago, I had casually asked her, "Sydney, do you think we should go public with our relationship now that we're in university?" However, she rejected the idea without even giving it much thought, and I felt down about it all day. After all, I had managed to score a one-in-a-million girlfriend like her, yet I couldn't show her off to the world. It felt like owning a sports car I was never allowed to drive out of the garage. Now that I thought about it, thank goodness we didn't make it public. If everyone on campus knew that my girlfriend was flirting with the popular guy, how could I ever show my face again? So, I nodded solemnly. "Yes, it would be pretty embarrassing." Sydney's face went dark, and she stared at me with a mocking smirk. "Fine then, Tyler. Since we're pretending we never dated, shouldn't we delete all our chat logs and photos as well?" I nodded in agreement. "Yes! Let's delete them all." Thinking back to those ridiculous texts I sent her before, like "Sending you kisses, baby" and "I miss you so much I can't sleep," my face burned. If anyone else ever saw those, how could I go on living? I quickly added, "And all those gifts I gave you, I want them all returned to me as well." Sydney's face grew paler and paler. Gritting her teeth, she deleted every photo and chat history right in front of me until there was nothing left. Finally, she made a trip back to her dorm. Ten minutes later, she returned carrying two huge bags and shoved them straight into my arms. "Everything you gave me is right here." I let out a sigh of relief. Although asking for gifts back after breaking up was definitely embarrassing, and Sydney might laugh at me for it, I knew being laughed at by one person was still much better than potentially being laughed at by a whole crowd later on. I'd given her too many things. By the time I lugged the bags to my dorm door, my back was aching so badly I could barely stand straight, but I didn't rush inside. Instead, I poked my head in to check first. After confirming none of my roommates were inside, I quickly dragged the stuff in and shoved it all deep into the back of my closet. If my roommate saw them and found out they were gifts I had given my ex-girlfriend, I'd be embarrassed for the rest of my life. Just as I shut the closet door, the dorm door burst open with a bang. My roommate, Grayson Wilkin, walked in. "Tyler, are you going to the freshman party tonight?" I subconsciously replied, "No–" Just before I could say the words, I stopped myself. Tonight's party was for all the freshmen. Popular people like Sydney and Jonas Newman surely wouldn't miss it. If I didn't show up, would Sydney think I was hiding in the dorm crying because I was heartbroken over the breakup, and then laugh at me for it? I immediately straightened my back and said, "Of course I'm going." At seven in the evening, I followed Grayson to the party. The moment I pushed the door open, I spotted Sydney. She was still sitting next to Jonas, but she didn't look too happy. She was spinning her phone in her hand and glancing at the doorway every few seconds. She looked as though she was waiting for someone. When I walked in, her gaze rested on me for two seconds before she sharply turned her head away. Then, as if doing it on purpose, she leaned a little closer to Jonas. Her voice was also louder than usual. "Didn't you say you had a basketball game to prepare for? You shouldn't drink too much. Why don't I accompany you to the court later to practice for a bit?" The people around them instantly started teasing. "Aw, Sydney is so thoughtful! Jonas is so lucky!" Grayson bumped my arm with his elbow and whispered in admiration, "Who would've guessed it? Sydney seems so aloof usually, but she's actually pretty thoughtful toward her crush." Chapter 2 Thoughtful? Somehow, that comment stirred a bitterness in me. Sydney had never been thoughtful toward me. Although we hadn't been together for very long, we had eaten together a few times. I had clearly told her more than once that I was allergic to seafood, yet every time she picked a place to eat, she would still suggest going to her favorite seafood bar. I used to think she just had a bad memory, but now it seemed it might not have been a bad memory after all. It was just that because she didn't have feelings for me, she couldn't be bothered to remember. The moment that thought popped up, a shiver ran down my spine. If people found out that the first love I had tried so hard to win over never even had feelings for me in the first place, wouldn't that be even more embarrassing? In an instant, that bitterness in me vanished. Only one thought remained in my mind: nobody could ever find out I had dated Sydney! I dragged Grayson along and picked a seat as far away from Sydney as possible. Before long, almost everyone had arrived. Some thought sitting around was boring, so they suggested playing Truth or Dare. The bottle spun for a few rounds, and the neck of it stopped right in front of Jonas. "Um… I'll pick Truth." The person next to him leaned in with a cheeky grin and said, "Then I've got to ask something juicy. Jonas, my man, do you have a crush on someone right now?" Jonas paused and didn't answer immediately. His finger tapped idly against the rim of his cup. After two seconds, he looked up at Sydney, and the corner of his lips curled up ever so slightly into a smile. "Yes." The entire private room exploded into an uproar. "What!" "Who is it? Who is it?" "Isn't it obvious by the way he was looking at her?" "Sydney, you've been keeping a secret all this time!" Jonas leaned back against his chair. He didn't explain; he simply lowered his head and chuckled. Sydney didn't deny it either. She tapped the tabletop with her hand and said, "Alright, that's enough. Stop teasing. Let's start the next round." However, that only made everyone look at them more suggestively. The bottle started spinning again. After a few rounds, the bottleneck stopped in front of me. "Tyler Richards!" Someone laughed and tapped the table. "Truth or Dare?" I thought about it. "Truth." "Then let's keep it simple. Do you have a girlfriend?" Realizing that this was a golden opportunity to deny that Sydney and I had ever been together, I blurted, "Of course not! Forget a girlfriend, I've never even been in a relationship." Just as the words left my mouth, I felt someone glare at me from across the room. I looked up and met Sydney's deep, dark eyes. Grayson, however, was bewildered. "But Tyler, the day you moved into the dorm, didn't you say you had a girlfriend?" Only then did I remember. On the day we moved into the dorm, Grayson was talking about relationship statuses. To casually show off that I had a girlfriend who was both a genius and beautiful, I said coolly, "Yeah, I'm dating someone. She's alright, I guess." Right now, under Sydney's murderous glare, I fell silent for two seconds and said with conviction, "Ah, I was talking about a fictional girlfriend, like my celebrity crush. In real life, I've never dated a single person." Fortunately, plenty of guys had celebrity crushes. So when Grayson gave an "oh" and didn't probe any further, I let out a sigh of relief. Across from us, Sydney's face was already dark with anger, and she was downing drink after drink. Jonas tried to persuade her to stop. "Sydney, drink a little less." Sydney didn't say a word. Instead, she tilted her head back and downed another glass. When the party was almost over, I went to the restroom to freshen up. Just as I dried my hands and walked out, someone suddenly grabbed my wrist. In the next second, my whole body was pulled into the adjacent stairwell. Startled, I instinctively reached back to seize the person's wrist. "It's me," a familiar voice said. I froze. When I looked up and saw Sydney, I let go and took a very polite step backward. "Davies, is something wrong?" Chapter 3 Sydney's expression froze. She probably didn't expect the guy who was calling her "baby" just yesterday to address her so formally today. It was as though we were nothing more than friends to begin with. I, on the other hand, was pleased that I remained so polite and composed, even after a breakup. Now, no one would laugh at me! Sydney, however, seemed even more annoyed as she rubbed her temples in frustration. "Tyler, why did you tell everyone that you've never been in a relationship before?" I was baffled by her question. "You agreed this morning that you wouldn't tell anyone we were ever together. So what's wrong with me saying that?" Sydney stared at me for a good while. The lighting in the stairwell was dim, yet her eyes were terrifyingly dark. After a long pause, she suddenly sneered. "There's nothing wrong with it. I'm just worried you won't be able to handle the fallout later." I found her even weirder. Why would I be handling a fallout? As long as I insisted I had never dated, who could possibly pry my mouth open? I immediately rolled my eyes at her. "Don't worry, Davies. I know how to handle myself." With that, I walked away and didn't catch Sydney whispering through her gritted teeth behind me. "Dressing up so sharply just for a party and intentionally claiming you've never dated before? I see you're playing hard to get, huh? Tyler, you've actually gotten smarter." Over the next few days, I didn't reach out to Sydney again. We might be in the same school, but we studied different majors. Our class schedules didn't overlap, so we rarely ran into each other anyway. However, the student representative, Clara Snider, started showing up around me all the time for some reason. She'd save me a seat in class. She'd ask if I wanted to head to the dining hall together after class. She even proactively assigned me the easiest parts of our group projects. After watching this for two days, Grayson couldn't help but gossip. "Tyler, it looks like Clara's into you. What about you? How do you feel about her?" Naturally, I could tell what she was up to. However, having recently ended a relationship, I didn't want to rush into the next one so quickly. Not to mention that last time, I carelessly ended up dating someone like Sydney, who almost made me a laughingstock. So this time, I had to be cautious. I answered honestly, "I don't really have any thoughts about her right now." Somehow, those words made their way to Clara's ears, but she didn't mind at all. The next day, she sat next to me as usual and pushed a plate of breakfast toward me. "It's totally fine if you don't have any thoughts about me right now," she said with a candid smile. "I'll just wait in line for now." I paused for a moment, recalling the days when I was dating Sydney. Before university started, we were both still back in our hometown. It was a small place where you couldn't walk two steps without running into someone you knew. So, whenever Sydney asked me out, she always picked a time between noon and two in the afternoon—when the sun was most brutal and when the streets were emptiest. Every time we met for less than ten minutes, I'd be sweating buckets. The hair on my forehead would clump into wet strands, and the back of my shirt would be completely soaked. Yet, Sydney would always laugh at me, "Tyler, why is your hair plastered all over your face? You look so ugly." Later, when we started university, I thought we could finally date like normal people. Yet, Sydney still refused to make it public, and dates meant going to a shopping mall about 12 miles away. On the rare occasions we met on campus, it had to be at night. I would wear a baseball cap, she would wear a face mask, and we looked like secret agents exchanging intel. Back then, I would occasionally wonder if dating me was really so embarrassing for her. However, I was too afraid to ask, lest the answer be terrible and I'd be even more embarrassed. At that thought, I looked at Clara with a softer gaze. At least she was candid and wasn't afraid of anyone knowing. So afterward, when Clara brought me breakfast again, kept me company at the library, or handed me an umbrella on a rainy day, I didn't turn her down. With my silent approval, Clara's pursuit became increasingly public. Our friends quickly caught on and would tease us whenever they saw us together. "Clara, keep it up!" "Tyler, that's enough playing coy. She's been pursuing you for so long now." Hearing that made me feel fantastic. This was what pursuing someone should be—candid, open, and proud. It was far less embarrassing than sneaking around while dating. However, Sydney was a total buzzkill, constantly sending me nonsensical text messages at night. [Tyler Richards, that's enough. Don't push it too far. Using someone else to make me jealous won't work.] I thought she was completely out of her mind. After receiving her messages for the eighth time, I lost my patience and removed her from my contacts. Chapter 4 It was quiet for a few days before welcome week came about. Sydney and Jonas were the hosts. The moment they walked backstage, people started teasing them again. "What a perfect match! Why don't you two just make it official already?" Jonas paused, reflexively glancing over at Sydney. I thought she would brush it off vaguely like she did last time, but instead, she said flatly, "That's enough. Jonas and I are just friends." Jonas snapped his head up and looked at her in disbelief. Sydney avoided his gaze, she cast an ominous look past the crowd and settling in a corner. To be precise, her gaze landed on me as I moved the props and on Clara, who was trailing behind to help me. The person who had started the teasing felt a little awkward. With a forced laugh, he turned to strike up a conversation with Clara. "Clara, you've been hanging around Tyler every day lately. Are you trying to get with him?" Clara gave a little smile and nodded. "Yeah. It's been so obvious! Couldn't you tell?" The crowd burst into another round of hooting and hollering. Getting excited, the person turned to me again. "So what about you, Tyler? Does Clara stand a chance?" I smiled and nodded. "I'd say she definitely has a chance." The moment I finished speaking, there was a clatter as the microphone slipped from Sydney's hand and hit the floor. Jonas froze for a second, then bent down to pick it up. "Sydney, what's wrong with you tonight? Is something on your mind?" Sydney took the microphone back, her face terrifyingly pale. "It's nothing." After a two-second silence, a smirk suddenly tugged at the corner of her lips. "I just think some people are real pieces of work. One moment they're desperately pursuing someone, and the next, they behave like nothing ever happened and move on to someone else just to enjoy being pursued again. To be this desperate for a girl is truly a rare sight." The smile on my face vanished. Clara frowned. "Sydney, watch your mouth." Ignoring Clara, Sydney glared at me, an inexplicable rage burning in her eyes. "Am I wrong, Tyler?" I didn't say a word, though my heart ached a little inside. Back when I pursued Sydney, it wasn't just because she had good grades, good looks, and made me look good when we walked together. I had genuinely loved liked. I loved how her long hair blew wildly in the wind. I loved the way she lowered her eyes over a problem, casually spinning a pen between her fingers. I loved her so much that, on the day she agreed to be my girlfriend, I tossed and turned in bed and couldn't sleep all night. Yet now, as I stared at Sydney, who was speaking maliciously just to humiliate me, I felt sad for myself; I felt sad for the Tyler who had once fallen for such a vile woman. I was just about to speak when Clara's face suddenly turned grim. "Sydney, that's enough." Sydney sneered, "What? Your heart breaks for him?" Clara's expression darkened as well. "Drop the sarcastic attitude. Who are you to talk about him like that?" The two went back and forth, and the atmosphere grew tense. Before anyone knew it, Sydney suddenly reached out and yanked Clara's hair. Clara didn't hesitate for a second and grabbed hers right back. Chaos immediately ensued backstage. "Stop fighting!" "Pull them apart. Quick!" A crowd of people rushed forward in a flurry. Shaken by the scene, I quickly squeezed through the mess and threw myself in front of Clara to shield her. "Sydney, are you out of your mind?" Sydney froze mid-action. Her hair was already a tangled mess, but she didn't seem to care at all. She stared dead at me as I protected Clara from her. "Tyler, are you insulting me because of her?" I blurted those words before I could stop myself. "She's my girlfriend. Who else am I supposed to stand up for? You, a nobody to me?" The moment the words left my mouth, Clara whipped her head around to look at me. The same girl who was pulling on someone else's hair a second ago now had her eyes lit up. "Girlfriend?" Sydney, on the other hand, looked as though she had been punched square in the face. Her expression was even uglier than before. "Girlfriend? Tyler, how long has it been since we broke up, and you're already seeing someone new?" All of backstage fell silent. The people who had been busy pulling them apart froze in unison. Prying glances swept back and forth between Sydney, Clara, and me. A chill ran down my spine, but I forced myself to bite back. "Sydney, have you lost your mind? You claim you're my ex-girlfriend, but where's your proof? You can't just expect everyone to believe I actually dated you." Sydney sneered. "Of course I have proof." With that, she pulled out her phone. However, the moment she unlocked the screen, her hand froze. She seemed to have finally remembered what had happened not long ago. She had been the one to propose deleting all our photos and messages. She had even returned every other item that could prove we had ever been together.